Introduction
Have you ever read a sentence like “I bought me a new book” and felt it sounded a bit strange? Or perhaps you’ve wondered when to say “myself” instead of “me.” Understanding reflexive pronouns is the key to sounding more natural and accurate in English. Let’s make these useful words clear and easy to use.
What Is a Reflexive Pronoun?
A reflexive pronoun is a special type of pronoun that refers back to the subject of the sentence. In simple terms, it “reflects” the person or thing doing the action. We use them when the subject and the object of a verb are the same person or thing. The most common reflexive pronouns are: myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, and themselves.
Rules for Using Reflexive Pronouns
- Use a reflexive pronoun when the subject and object are the same. This is the most important rule. For example: “She taught herself to play guitar.” (She taught she? No. She taught her? No. She taught herself? Yes!)
- Use them for emphasis to mean “that person/thing and nobody/nothing else.” For example: “The manager himself served the customers.” Here, “himself” emphasizes that it was the manager, not an employee.
- Never use a reflexive pronoun as the subject of a sentence. You cannot say, “Myself went to the store.” The correct subject is “I.”
- Use the correct pronoun to match the subject. This is about agreement. If the subject is “I,” use “myself.” If the subject is “they,” use “themselves.”
How to Use Reflexive Pronouns
Let’s break down the process of using these pronouns correctly in your sentences.
Step 1: Identify the subject. Ask: Who is doing the action? (I, you, he, she, it, we, they).
Step 2: Identify the object. Ask: Who or what is receiving the action?
Step 3: Check if they are the same. If the subject and object are the same person or thing, you need a reflexive pronoun.
Step 4: Choose the correct reflexive form. Match it to the subject:
- I → myself
- You (singular) → yourself
- He → himself
- She → herself
- It → itself
- We → ourselves
- You (plural) → yourselves
- They → themselves
Step 5 (for emphasis): If you want to add strong emphasis, place the reflexive pronoun right after the noun or pronoun it emphasizes, or at the end of the sentence. Example: “I will do it myself!”
Examples in Sentences
- I need to believe in myself more.
- Did you make that cake yourself?
- He cut himself while shaving.
- She is very proud of herself for passing the exam.
- The cat saw itself in the mirror.
- We organized the entire event ourselves.
- Children, you must clean your rooms yourselves today.
- They enjoyed themselves at the concert.
- The door opened itself; it was very spooky!
- I told myself to stay calm.
- The president himself announced the news. (Emphatic use)
- You should try to solve the problem yourself first. (Emphatic use)
Common Mistakes
Here are some frequent errors learners make with reflexive pronouns and how to fix them.
Mistake 1: Using “myself” incorrectly instead of “I” or “me.”
❌ Please contact James or myself for details.
✅ Please contact James or me for details.
(Tip: Remove “James or” – you would say “contact me,” not “contact myself.”)
Mistake 2: Using a regular pronoun when a reflexive is needed.
❌ She bought her a new dress. (This means she bought a dress for another woman.)
✅ She bought herself a new dress. (This means she bought it for herself.)
Mistake 3: Using the wrong reflexive form.
❌ They did it themself.
✅ They did it themselves.
(“Themself” is not standard. Always use “themselves” for plural “they.”)
Mistake 4: Adding a reflexive pronoun where it isn’t needed.
❌ I feel myself sick today.
✅ I feel sick today.
(Verbs like “feel,” “relax,” “concentrate” are often followed by reflexive pronouns, but “feel” in the sense of being ill is not.)
Quick Summary
- Reflexive pronouns end in “-self” (singular) or “-selves” (plural).
- Use them when the subject and object of the verb are the same person/thing.
- Use them for emphasis to mean “and not anyone else.”
- Never use a reflexive pronoun as the subject of a sentence.
- Always match the reflexive pronoun to the subject (e.g., he → himself).
Practice Exercises
Fill in the blank with the correct reflexive pronoun (myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves).
- We built this treehouse __________.
- He is old enough to dress __________.
- The computer will turn __________ off after 10 minutes.
- Be careful with that knife! Don’t cut __________.
- They are talking to __________ in the mirror.
Answers:
1. ourselves
2. himself
3. itself
4. yourself
5. themselves
Conclusion
Mastering reflexive pronouns like myself, yourself, and himself is a fantastic step towards more precise and natural English. Remember the core rule: they reflect the action back to the subject. With a little practice, using them correctly will become second nature.
FAQ
Q1: Can I use “myself” to be more polite or formal, like in “Myself and John will attend”?
A: No, this is a common error. “Myself” should not replace “I” or “me” to sound formal. The correct sentence is “John and I will attend” (if it’s the subject) or “You can contact John or me” (if it’s the object). Using “myself” here is grammatically incorrect.
Q2: What is the difference between “each other” and reflexive pronouns?
A: We use reflexive pronouns when the action reflects back to the subject individually (“They blamed themselves” means each person blamed themselves). We use “each other” when there is a reciprocal action between two or more people (“They blamed each other” means person A blamed person B, and person B blamed person A).
Q3: Is “themselves” always plural? What about singular “they”?
A: Excellent question! When we use the singular “they” (to refer to one person of unknown gender or a non-binary person), we still use the plural reflexive pronoun “themselves.” For example: “Someone left their bag here; I hope they find themselves a new one.” This is standard and accepted in modern English.
Q4: Are there verbs that always need a reflexive pronoun?
A: Yes, some verbs are almost always followed by a reflexive pronoun. Common examples include: pride oneself on (“She prides herself on her work”), avail oneself of (“You should avail yourself of this opportunity”), and absent oneself from (“He absented himself from the meeting”). For many other verbs (like wash, dress, shave), it depends on the context.